


Thwart Me

by tripperfunster



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Bestiality?, M/M, Other, Sounding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 13:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12014145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tripperfunster/pseuds/tripperfunster
Summary: An older fic of mine that fills me with a wonderful mix of shame and desire.  Hopefully it does the same for you.I didn't post any warnings, but ... if you know you are reading a porny story about an evil scientist and a platypus, I don't think warnings will make a difference.





	Thwart Me

Heinz rolled onto his back, narrow chest still heaving.

“Well,” he rasped, “this was completely … unexpected.”

He endeavoured to control both his thoughts and jagged breathing, but the tension thrumming through him and the tremors in his hands demanded his attention. Not to mention the swollen member between his legs, or more aptly, slung across his abdomen. Turgid and almost purple from lack of release, its glistening tip resembled a conductor’s baton, keeping time with Heinz’s heartbeat, giving a tidy flick with each pulse. 

He pressed the heel of his hand against the base of his swollen cock and groaned in frustration.

“Curse you Perry the Platypus. Curse you for being so small! And curse me for being so big! And I don’t mean big as in well-hung--which frankly I am--but really, even if I wasn’t, I would still be too big for you!”

Perry nodded. He supposed he was in agreement, but his own cock was proving quite the distraction. He ran his tongue over the tip of his bill and willed his eyes to focus on the doctor.

“And you,” Heinz continued, “might have a really big dick for a platypus. Hell, you might be a platypus porn star for all I know, but I just don’t think … it’s gonna …” His train of thought derailed as he watched Perry stroking his long, pink member. “Curse you,” he repeated, looking over at his equally hard, equally frustrated semi-aquatic friend.

Well, not “friend”exactly. Nor were they enemies. And “frenemies” just sounded too gay. Not that lying naked on the floor holding your throbbing dick with another guy wasn’t gay. It was just … they were … complicated.

The attraction was undeniable. The tension had been building between them for a number of months, although Heinz had never even considered the possibility of the two of them getting naked and sweaty on the floor of his apartment. (Late night fantasies notwithstanding.) 

But wet dreams in the privacy of his own fist, and the warm, hard reality of what lay next to him this afternoon were proving quite diverse. Heinz did not have a lot going for him in the looks department, but when the lights were dimmed and his slacks removed, his partners rarely had anything to complain about. The rumour about big hands/feet/chins/noses was abundantly true when it came to the Doofenshmirtz men.

Normally, this was an advantage for Heinz. But normally, he wasn’t trying to fuck something no larger than a football. As mixed as his feelings were for the little platypus, splitting him in half was not one of his evil schemes. One did not have to be a scientist to figure out that tab A would absolutely NOT fit into slot B.

And Perry, while quite possibly well endowed for his species, was certainly not man enough to satisfy Heinz. The long, slim pink penis was intriguing yet strange.

“What the hell were we thinking?” he croaked. “I mean, look at me! And look at you!” Heinz turned to face his nemesis and his eyes softened. “Look at you.” He whispered, reaching over to stroke the soft fur with one long finger. “Sehr schöne.”

Perry’s eyes closed at the words, and he arched into Heinz’s touch. Heinz’s finger traveled down past the slim cock to press against Perry’s perineum. You know … if platypus even HAVE a perineum.

Perry sucked in a quick breath and Heinz grinned. Well, whatever he was pressing, it seemed to be working. He scooted a bit closer so their erections could touch and rubbed the moist tip along the length of Perry’s. The platypus purred his approval. Rolling up on to his knees between the doctor‘s legs, Perry grabbed the base of his own cock in one hand and the head of Heinz’s in the other and teased the wet slit of the larger cock with the tapered end of his own.

“Oh!” Heinz groaned, leveraging himself up on to his elbows to get a better view of the festivities. “It almost looks as though your little penis might fit right- On, Scheiße!” he cried as Perry mirrored his thought, and pressed the tip of his prick into the wet opening. “That feels … well, surprisingly good, actually.”

Perry grinned and pressed forward, inching slowly into the tight confines of the evil doctor’s urethra. Heinz, for his part, could only stare, wide eyed and slack jawed at what the little platypus was doing. That insane duck-billed imp was actually fucking him. IN HIS PENIS. And damn if it didn’t feel amazing.

Perry continued to push forward until he was fully sheathed, then paused, his hands leaving Heinz’s dick just long enough to adjust his fedora. He gave a deep, throaty chirrup, grabbed the doctor just behind the fleshy head of his cock and began to move his hips. Forward and back. Forward and back. Slowly gaining in pressure and momentum until he was fucking that giant cock in earnest.

Heinz’s nails dug grooves into the hardwood floor and he threw his head back, his breaths quick and shallow, his lips drawn tightly across his teeth in a grimace of passion.

“Perry … The Platypus.” he grunted, eyes screwed shut.   
“I’m gonna.   
If you don’t.   
You’d better.   
Oh!” he cried, nails digging even deeper, “Oh Gott!”

Perry chirruped again, his body tightening into a spasm, his staccato thrusts losing their rhythm as he pulsed his seed into the tight chasm of Heinz’s cock.

“Please!” the Doctor whined, “I can’t- it won’t-”

Perry gave a quick wink and pulled out of Heinz. The evil scientist grasped the base of his dick and gave a few quick pumps, then heaved a great sob of relief as thick strings of come surged from his prick.

Slowly, the tension drained from his thin frame and he slumped back, his head making a hollow thunk against the floor.

“Good gracious!” he gasped, a smile finally tugging at his lips. “Where the heck did you learn to do that?” He stretched, pressing his long arms over his head and grinned outright. “I certainly don’t think they taught you that manoeuvre at O.W.C.A. In fact, with evil moves like that, you might be more suited to the dark side!”

He turned to Perry, who, after wiping all ‘evidence’ from his fur, had removed his fedora to inspect it also.

“Are you blushing under your little platypus fur? You are, aren’t you?” Heinz gently prodded him with a finger, then gave a scratch under his chin. “That’s okay. I don’t usually go crazy with the compliments, but I’ve got to say, little guy, that this was pretty darn amazing.” Perry leaned into the touch, and the blush extended to his little webbed feet.

“But don’t worry,” continued Heinz, “I don’t want things to get all weird between us. You’re still a secret agent, and I’m still an evil scientist, and no amount of you sticking your little platypus penis inside my bigger non-platypus penis is going to change anything, right? Oh crap. It just got weird, didn’t it?”

Perry pondered for a moment, then held up his hand, palm down, making a fist. Heinz stared in confusion, then raised his own fist and bumped it against his nemesis’. “So we’re cool? We’re cool, right? Oh, thank goodness, because I still have big plans to take over the Tri-State Area, and I need you around to thwart me. Am I right?” Perry nodded then scampered to the balcony ledge. With a quick tip of his hat, he leaned back into the cool evening air and plummeted off the edge.

At the sound of the platypus’ parachute deploying, Heinz rolled on to his side and gave a heavy sigh. “Curse you, Perry the Platypus. See you Tuesday!”

 

 

And what fic would be complete without an illustration?

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/tripperfunster/pic/0022axt9/)


End file.
